Cinemavenger
The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.
The Matrix Resurrections
The Matrix was "woah!" The Matrix Resurrections is "d'oh!"
Anyone who's seen the two, previous Matrix sequels won't be surprised. After breaking new cinematic ground in 1999 while introducing an entire generation to existential angst, the Wachowskis shat out two sequels that were the very definition of diminishing returns. In between they helmed an anthology of animated short stories called The Animatrix, which is still the best Matrix-related offering after the original movie.
Now Lana Wachowski is back in the director's seat for The Matrix Resurrections, and it's more obvious than a pair of fake tits that she and the studio are only interested in a quick cash grab rather than in telling a new, vibrant, or even remotely interesting story. The fact that they joke about this exact type of cash grab in the movie itself does not absolve them of their own grasping greedery. Not at fucking all.
This movie somehow finds Neo aka Thomas Anderson (Keanu "Steve" Reeves) back where he started, as a human being living his life in a simulated reality called the Matrix with no idea that the world he knows isn't actually the real world. This time, though, instead of being a corporate drone by day and hacker by night, he's a rich and famous video game designer. The riches and fame came when he created the groundbreaking Matrix video game trilogy. Ooh, how meta.
Just like in the first movie, a group of resistance fighters in the real world works to find Neo and release him from the Matrix. The first time around it was because they thought he was their savior, the One. This time they do it because . . . they think he's cool, I guess? And just like in the first movie, Neo is in love with Trinity (Carrie-Anne "A Rolling Stone Gathers No" Moss), who goes by the name Tiffany in this new version of the Matrix and is just as trapped as Neo is.
The iconic bad guy, Agent Smith, played by Hugo "Queen of the Desert" Weaving until now, returns as some other actor but is shuffled to the side in favor of Neal "NPH" Patrick Harris' big bad, the Analyst. The Analyst can control time, which should be game over for Neo, but it isn't. Natch.
The Matrix Revolutions is way more Meh-trix than Matrix.
January 7, 2022