Cinemavenger

   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.

Knives Out

Fuck Valentine's Day!  Everyone knows that Thanksgiving is the most romantic holiday, what with all the breasts, thighs, and (love) gravy.  So, this Thanksgiving, if you're lucky enough to have a real life meet-cute, for fuck's sake go for it!  Whether you bump noggins like Bill Murray and Karen Allen in Scrooged, get into a fender bender with an understanding hottie, or end up talking through an entire football game, movie, or school play with the stranger sitting next to you, you gots to see what happens, yo!  Life is too short and full of sharp corners not to take that chance. 

Next to stumbling backward into true love, finding a movie that lives up to its hype is pretty far up on the list of reasons to forget all the petty bullshit of the day-to-day and be thankful.  The murder mystery Knives Out is just such a movie.  The previews looked amazing.  It has a stellar cast.  So, based on past experience, it should've sucked like a Hoover, but surprise of welcome surprises, this film would make Agatha Christie soak her thong.

On the night of his 85th birthday, super successful mystery writer Harlan Thrombey (Christopher "Amanda" Plummer") is found dead inside his enormous mansion.  Because they were all there for his birthday party, every one of his leeching, lying, loathsome children, grandchildren, and/or their spouses (Jamie "General" Lee Curtis, Don "Big" Johnson, Chris "Bob" Evans, Toni "Tony Tone" Collette, and Michael "Crazy Eyes" Shannon) is a suspect.

The police investigating the murder (or was it suicide?) are aided by the famous private detective, Benoit Blanc (Daniel "In The Lion's Den" Craig).  Knives Out makes no bones about Blanc being the spiritual descendant of two of the greatest detectives in fictional history.  Blanc, who's been hired anonymously, deduces huge truths from tiny clues, uses the term "afoot," and calls the dead man's former nurse his "Watson" after he enlists her aid in solving the crime.  He's basically a deerstalker away from a full blown Holmes fetish.  His cool demeanor and name clearly owe themselves to Christie's own Hercule Poirot.

Knives Out delivers the thrills, chills, and giggles.  It'll keep you guessing all the way through, and if it doesn't make you grab your chest and shout, "I'm coming Elizabeth!" Fred Sanford style at least once, then may Redd Foxx have mercy on your soul.

November 29, 2019