The Chive

Cinemavenger

   The funniest, nastiest movie reviews anywhere.


Cinemark Cinemas
T-Shirt Hell
Punk Tacos HD Radio Station
ThinkGeek

Happy Death Day


If you've ever thought that the one thing Groundhog Day was missing was murder, well happy fuckin' birthday.  Because heeeeeeere's Happy Death Day.


Just like Bill "The One And Only" Murray's Phil Connors in Groundhog Day, sorority bitch daughter of Arbor Day-loving parents, Tree (Jessica "Generic Hot Chick" Rothe), must learn to be a better person . . . and solve her own murder . . . in order to break her day-repeating loop and finally see a tomorrow.  Unlike Groundhog Day, Happy Death Day isn't knee-slappin', pit-ticklin' hilarious.  Although it is funnier than it is scary, which probably isn't awesome if it's supposed to be a horror movie, which it is.


Tree wakes up on her birthday in a dorm room after a one-night stand.  She goes about her day of lying to her sorority sisters, being a cunt to her roommate, Lori (Ruby "Daughter of Matthew" Modine), and having an affair with her married professor.  Then a killer in a mask stabs her to death.  Tree wakes up back in the dorm room again on her birthday.  Lather, rinse, repeat.


If you've ever thought that the one thing Groundhog Day was missing was murder, well happy fuckin' birthday.  Because heeeeeeere's Happy Death Day.


Just like Bill "The One And Only" Murray's Phil Connors in Groundhog Day, Sorority bitch daughter of Arbor Day-loving parents, Tree (Jessica "Generic Hot Chick" Rothe), must learn to be a better person . . . and solve her own murder . . . in order to break her day-repeating loop and finally see a tomorrow.  Unlike Groundhog Day, Happy Death Day isn't knee-slappin', pit-ticklin' hilarious.  Although it is funnier than it is scary, which probably isn't awesome if it's supposed to be a horror movie, which it is.


Tree wakes up on her birthday in a dorm room after a one-night stand.  She goes about her day of lying to her sorority sisters, being a cunt to her roommate, Lori (Ruby "Daughter of Matthew" Modine), and having an affair with her married professor.  Then a killer in a mask stabs her to death.  Tree wakes up back in the dorm room again on her birthday.  Lather, rinse, repeat. 


If you've ever thought that the one thing Groundhog Day was missing was murder, well happy fuckin' birthday.  Because heeeeeeere's Happy Death Day.


And that's how a bad motherfucker reviews Happy Death Day.


October 13, 2017